Apart from the usual things like travelling and reading, there are tons of offbeat fun things you can do after retiring in India.
Retirement is the time that you can do fun stuff as your full-time occupation.
Everyone has a different idea of what makes for a fun activity after you retire.
Here are some uniquely offbeat options for your post-retirement pleasure in India.
See which one tickles your curiosity and go for it.
Fun Things to do After Retiring in India
Here are some quirky ideas.
Jump into Politics
You can start small.
Your housing society is an excellent launch pad for your political career.
Start by complaining about everything going on in your housing society and brand all the existing office bearers as incompetent.
Tell people things will be great once you come in.
Then when you become the society secretary, keep blaming the previous guys for the mess you inherited.
This was a winning strategy during your corporate career so carry this along in your political career too.
This can easily keep you going for 4-5 years.
Annoy Young People
If you do become a society office bearer, it opens up huge opportunities for having even more fun.
Since you cannot be young again, a fun activity in retirement is to make others regret being young.
Make random rules like curfews on weekends, unacceptable sound level for laughter and dress code on what colour socks to wear when entering the lifts.
Look out for opportunities to suck joy out of any activity that a young person could engage in.
Give Unsolicited Advice
People hate getting unsolicited advice from an old grumpy person. But do not let that discourage you.
Whenever you meet anyone, immediately start giving life advice.
This could be 1-1 or as a group. It works in all settings.
The security guards, the vegetable vendors, or even small children playing in the playground.
Everyone is fair game. Never miss an opportunity to give unsolicited advice.
Also, every few minutes keep reminding them how things were much better when you were younger.
Shake your head gloomily from left to right for added impact.
Discuss Body Pains
Once you cross 60 your body starts to talk back to you.
Your knees, back, hips all make their presence felt with crackling sounds whenever you move.
This makes for a fun conversation specially with younger folks who have no idea what the hell are you talking about.
It is also an excellent icebreaker to start a conversation with strangers.
Talk about your body pains and then croak in amazement as others share theirs.
This is an excellent bonding exercise to make new friends.
Repeat Life Stories
Tell people the same stories over and over from your life when you meet them.
You can repeat the same story for inspiration, encouragement, discouragement, or any other context.
In fact, the context is irrelevant.
The important thing is to launch into the same life story as soon as you have an opening.
There is no need to even link the story with whatever point you are trying to make. Keep it vague.
Ignore their protests if they indicate that they have heard it before.
Just keep going till you reach the end.
Stretch Your Time
In retirement you have the luxury of time.
So, never give a short or quick answer to anything, no matter the question.
Make every effort and take lot of time to make simple things complex.
For instance, if someone asks you what 2+2 is, use that as an opportunity to talk about the origin of mathematics and what role Srinivasa Ramanujan played in that.
This may irritate others who are short on time, but that should be no concern of yours.
Your skill lies in using every opportunity of fill up the tons of time you have at your disposal in retirement.
Forward WhatsApp Messages
By the time you retire, you would be member of an eclectic collection of WhatsApp groups.
This presents an incredible opportunity for hours of fun by forwarding messages across these groups.
Ideally you should forward messages in quick succession that contradict each other.
For instance, send a message from a pulmonologist saying drinking water before meals is bad for your lungs.
Follow that up immediately with another message from a cardiologist saying how drinking water before meals is excellent for heart health.
Don’t worry if none of this makes any scientific sense.
The purpose of this exercise is to fully utilise your monthly mobile data allowance, while appearing to be extremely knowledgeable across a wide range of subjects.
Visit the Bank
India may be short of open public spaces, but it is not short of bank branches.
Bank branches are to retirees what candies are to kids. They promise hours of endless fun with idle chatter on offer.
Strike up a conversation with the branch manager or other customers on any topic.
Tell people how any situation could turn out much worse than they imagine.
That will get people instantly hooked to whatever you are saying.
Be the glass half empty person in any conversation.
Make sure you watch TV news at least 4 hours each day.
That will do wonders to reinforce your pessimism.
Conclusion
There is no shortage of quirky fun things to do after retiring in India.
From the mundane to something offbeat you are only limited by your imagination.
Go ahead and start having some post-retirement fun.
Dushyant Choudhary is the founder of dushyantnomics, an early retirement blog for professionals. Dushyant retired early from his 9-5 corporate life after a successful international career. He brings his knowledge and experience to his current role where he’s dedicated to helping professionals achieve a fulfilling retirement.